Sky Arts Portrait Artist of the Year

I got the call in March to say that all three Judges loved my painting and that I was going to be in Heat 6 which gave me 5 weeks to prepare.

The run up to the show was a time looking back, I would have probably not put myself under as much pressure as I did. I created over 27 portraits from sitters and photos, focusing most of my time on sitters. I gave myself a time limit of 3 hours knowing from reading other blogs that the full four hours would be pushing it due to interviews and breaks. Some were successful while others will no doubt be painted over and never see the light of day again. Funnily enough my best portrait (my mom) was completed two days before the show. My paintings of sitters had varying levels of success as most of my practice outside is commissioned is photograph based. So, working from a sitter was something I had always wanted to do but did not have the opportunity due to time constraints and paying for a model. I asked family and friends to sit so knew if I did a bad portrait they would not be offended. some were unaware I was to be on the show. I let the sitters talk and just get comfortable with my intense scrutiny at trying to get a likeness but also a vibe or feeling that the sitter gave off.

Just a side note this was my third time entering and I had decided that if I didn’t get in this time I would probably not try again just for self preservation. So, the art gods were shining on me. Very early on I made the decision that I wanted to work purely from life as I wanted to experience it, as an amazing opportunity to have a model for four hours.

I only carried canvases that could fit in my suitcase. I didn’t sleep the night before so I was already living on Adrenaline by the time, I entered at 7am. I decided to be the most comfortable I was going to wear my painting trousers and even had to patch a hole before I packed them.

The day began with all the artists filtering in and we were seated within a room with lockers and our choice of breakfast, which I had wanted at the time of ordering but couldn’t manage it so decided against eating so early. I was already full of beans my nerves were at peak. I can honestly say that I have never been so hyped on adrenaline in all my life and I have had 38 years on this earth. This probably didn’t help by the fact I had brought Fruit Pastilles with me and was tucking in to those. Probably not the best combo.

It was great to meet all the crew especially those that I had been in correspondence with. Shout out to Ellie and team! We were then taken in to the famous room and placed in front of our easels and was recorded setting up our materials.

I also made the decision not to look at the other artists work so I wouldn’t lose confidence or start to doubt myself and so I still have only seen their work from photos my sister took on the day.

When set up the Judges came in and i had a shoulder squeeze from Kate Byran

I had a quick chat with Stephen Mangham he asked what kind of painter i was and what id like to see for a sitter, I am a bit of an ugly painter and what I mean by that is messy and he had a smile on his face as though I was in for a treat, it was time to meet the sitter it was, I didn’t get to meet any other sitters but Shirley. We were filmed meeting and shaking hands with Shirley, she is an extremely beautiful (a bit overwhelmingly so) then it was time to start painting

I took a couple of photos but I decided before I got there that I would leave technology and grids behind as I just wanted to experience having a celebrity in front of me for four hours as when in life was, I going to get this experience again. I wanted to feel every mark and I was worried if I relied on technology or grids it could tighten up my painting however, I knew it would help with likeness but I wanted to keep my eyes on the sitter. I was still very much fizzing on adrenaline, and started painting however through out the experience I had over 8 interviews throughout the time 2 with Stephen Mangham in which he said he loved the boots on the submission and he was very funny and made me feel at ease.

When painting the hours go very quick but the day is quite long, I didn’t eat much throughout the day, my nerves were too shot for that. I did have a lot of conservations with audience members who really rallied around me, and one family even snuck in the afternoon slot just so that they could see me complete the painting, receiving hugs from the audience members. I was so happy to be able to speak with Tai and was told we were going of topic when discussing canvases. he also asked me about my little portrait of Russel Tovey I had brought for luck as I told him if my painting went wrong, I would go home with something I was happy with. I also had a list of positives to remind myself to breathe, that the audience wanted to take pictures of.

Shirley was very self aware, her body and eyes moved to where the camera was, which if I had used technology would have combated against that. It was also the reason I wanted to paint her with a side eye. Looking back, I wish I had painted a full-length portrait and when watching the show back I think that’s what the judges wanted from me.

I spoke to Kate Bryman who said I was bucking the trend by not using technology. I think she was giving me hints but they didn’t quite connect in my brain at the time.

Half an hour before finishing I felt like I could do no more, as when you are that in it, you stop seeing what’s in front of you and I didn’t want to ruin what I had done. I had a bit of a meltdown and walked of so I could have a cry and found a very lovely crew member in the back who let me cry on her shoulder. It was very overwhelming once it all stopped. I then decided to do a bit more painting on the clothes

The only judge I didn’t get to speak to was Kathleen, I was putting finishing touches down by then.

I know from the other artists that I spoke to, they decided not to have any interaction with the audience but I had such lovely comments from audience members and words of encouragement about how I painted that it made the experience one that I will treasure. I also had lovely comments from the crew, there was a sense of being rooted for which was also exhilarating

When it did come to the sitter choosing her painting, while Shirley didn’t choose mine on screen however the director Storyvault introduced himself and asked me if I would gift it to the sitter. in which I replied yes, she then said she would send the painting to her New York apartment and gift it to her son so you can’t get a bigger compliment then that.

When the judges were deliberating, we got to interact with the other artists and filmed us all sitting on the steps. but also, when waiting for the final results a number of people came up and talked to me saying how much they enjoyed watching me paint, a lot of kisses on the cheeks and hugs.

By the end of the day, I was exhausted, and the high had started to ware off and although I didn’t get through, I had the time of my life. However, by the time I got home I was on a low and I had started to look at my piece and become very self critical, thinking about all the things I could have changed. I have had to remind myself I was in extreme circumstances it is not like being in my studio where time is not against me.

 With time passing I look at it through photographs and realise there was brilliant paint application and although I can see some faults, Shirley loved it so why worry I painted what I felt on the day, I embraced the experience wholeheartedly.

Watching the show last night, I realise now I should have painted full length something more in tune with my submission. I should have slowed myself down and thought more about the composition. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

I can’t wait for the time I can apply again I know what to expect and now know how I would approach the sitter differently.

For those applying go for it embrace it and just enjoy.